Marriage is the ultimate bond between two partners. It is the only relation where you fall in love every day with the same person. You made a vow to love one another for better or for worse, but sometimes things go out of control and two smooth people have to go through a bumpy ride.
Marriage helps someone to prosper and for some it ruins their life. How same thing can be beneficial for someone and disastrous for other? The answer is marriage itself is not the culprit but the people involved tend to turn it into good or bad.
How it starts?
It all starts with setting the wrong expectations. There are two ways one can get married, Love and arranged marriage. We all are well versed with these terms so I am not getting into the details of it. Love is blind like goddess of justice, when in love we are unable to think rationally and could not take practical decisions but when someone gets married, they actually see the world from practical perspective. This sudden transition from dreamy to practical world makes it hard to digest and many relationship starts to crackle.
My personal Experience
Like others, I too gone through this phase. Initially it was all fairy tales but after one or two months we started to see differences among us. I was fed up of constant nagging and she was upset of not getting enough attention. Then I found a magic wand which changed my whole world (Watch Harry Potter series to know about magic, just kidding).
What Virendra Sehwag says?
This world is twitter world where I saw an interesting tweet by Virendra Sehwag, an Indian cricketer that reads “Husband is HEAD of Family and wife is the NECK that turns the Head around.” Isn’t it interesting? The analogy fits the situation perfectly if we understand it in proper terms. In short wife is the driver and you are the passenger but if you try to be in a driver’s position, there are chances that you met with an accident. Enjoy sitting in back seat and let driver enjoy the modern horsepower.
How to overcome it?
Of course there will be differences like between brothers, sisters or parents but we mutually resolve it, why can’t we apply same approach in marital relationship. Some key points which might help us to minimize the marital troubles are,
- Be respectful to each other
- Listen to your spouse
- Spend quality time
- Be compromising (I know, it’s quite difficult but you have to be)
- Most important is using “I” statements (quite opposite, right? But yes in relationship using “You” is disastrous so take potshot at yourself not the other way around.
The list is quite long, visit theshahab.com next time to read about comprehensive list.
Even though disputes are unavoidable, try to find the ways to overcome it. One last important thing, find the ways to rekindle your love by changing the routine, flirting and physical contact (Physical contact doesn’t just mean sex, It also means holding hands, snuggling, embracing, or any other kind of affectionate contact including sex).
Do you have something different in your mind? Post below under comments.